NLPCoaching.com Contest 2015 – Camelia Păduraru

Solving ˜Riddles’ Using NLP Coaching Processes

One of the things that I love the most when it comes to coaching with NLP is the challenge to find the deeper structure of the presenting problem and the way the client does it in their mind, therefore in their behavior and actual results.

It makes me feel like a detective in the process of working out a complex case, being presented with information, facts and data and having to figure it out. What do I mean by ˜figuring it out’?

To me, it’s moving up and down through the different chunking levels so you see how the dots connect and find those key patterns that, once reversed, will cause the problem to fall down to pieces and completely change the reality of the client. How is that possible?

Look for the Big Picture
For confidentiality reasons, let’s call this client George. He asked for coaching sessions with a clear intention of healing a skin problem, he wanted to star getting into the dermaroller amazon treatment. He had had seborrhea and constant scalp irritation for more than 15 years. It was very disturbing as he would constantly suffer from itchiness, pain, hair loss and a nice bunch of negative emotions connected to all this symptomatology like anger, worry and fear.

Now, you may ask where does this connect to NLP. Because, as NLP coaches, we are not medical doctors (unless we are) and there’s nothing we can do to solve any health condition. And that’s right, we can’t. What we can do, though, is to master the art of asking exquisite questions so the client himself solves the riddle of how the problem has been created in their neurology and the switch they need to create a different reality. Ok, so what did I do?

I guided George through a Detailed Personal History that you learn in the NLP Master Practitioner Training and discovered a whole lot about the process of doing the problem.

Uncover What Lies Beneath the Presenting Problem

Firstly, as opposed to what George said in the beginning, the problem wasn’t present all the time. Now, that’s important. If it wasn’t there all the time, it meant he had a strategy for not having the problem. We just had to uncover it.

So, the first “aha” moment comes right here: the symptoms would get worse during stressful periods and they would diminish during the more relaxed ones, when he would go on holidays and such. Good, what do we do with this? Suggest a continuous holiday? No, not really. We keep on investigating.

So secondly, we inquire where does the stress come from. And go figure: it was caused by a highly demanding business that he was running on his own and by the massive workload that would constantly overcome his capabilities. Ok, and how come this huge workload? ˜Well, there’s nobody to help me’, he said. And again, I go ˜how come?’ People set up their own businesses and after a while, they employ people so they grow. This is how it works. ˜Yes, I know, but I can’t find a good IT person.’ Really? In a city that’s renowned for one of the best IT universities and graduates in the country, there’s no IT person that you could employ? All of a sudden, the health problem turns out as a business issue, but it’s still not enough. I keep investigating. How does this individual here do the process of not finding a good employee?

The Point Where Everything Connects

Question after question, we navigate through the various layers of the problem, until we get to the bottom of it:  it all reduced to the issue of responsibility and trust. He had had a major significant event in his early twenties that caused him to decide that ˜from now on, I’m all by myself, there’s nobody I can rely on and no one to trust. I’m all alone and I’m responsible for my family.’

Therefore, that’s what he had kept creating in his life ever since. Being all by himself, taking on responsibilities that were not his to take and unconsciously rejecting any opportunity of receiving help and support. He didn’t even conceive how others could be in any way helpful as the idea that ˜people in my life equal extra responsibilities for me’ was making any other option unavailable to him. So from a health issue, we get to a business one and then further, to a belief system regarding the relationship with self and others.

Moreover, the same event was what he had perceived as a huge separation conflict and loss of affection overlapping with the time when he had had the skin problem for the first time. And Eureka! The puzzle had been unraveled.

Reversing the Patterns and Creating a New Reality

Now, we were good to go on with the clearing processes. I assisted him in letting go of the major negative emotions and limiting decisions with the Time Line Therapy® techniques. He released the burden that he was carrying from this past event and then changed the belief system that was no longer serving him.

The result? He found the employee he was looking for during the following month. He started delegating, his schedule became lighter so he could focus on the big picture of his business and optimize it. More time to rest and a better sleep quality. He built a stronger connection to his body so he increased his physical performance and became better at running, one of his hobbies. He became aware of the triggers in his environment and realized how the skin problem was not actually a skin problem, but a matter of how he responded to family issues. He installed new strategies and gained a whole new level of control over his emotions and symptomatology. He keeps expanding in all areas of life.

So think of this: what is the riddle that you haven’t figured out for yourself yet? And what would happen if you did?