For Part One of this NLP article go here
When you assume that you know what’s in another person’s head you’re making a big mistake. We’ll see in a moment why.
So, this internal representation (IR), greatly impacts our emotional internal state (see the twisted arrow on the left hand side of the diagram) which in turn is noticeable on our body’s physiology (that’s why we can read body language).
BUT and here is the kicker, all of that makes us behave in a certain way. So our behavior is determined by 
how we create the IR, which in turn affects our internal state, our physiology and ultimately our behavior.
Hmmmm…
Unfortunately, even when there is nothing special occupying their minds, many people function far below the peak capacity for processing information. Not only that we leave out that much information, but people tend to not use even that pitiful amount to the max.
During the part of the day when most people manage to get some leisure time, they seem to prefer to use their minds as little as possible. In fact, using the mind as little as possible has become elevated almost to the rank of sainthood. “Don’t make me think” is the name of a book which is now in its second edition. It sells so well (and I happen to like the content) because of its title.
Don’t Make Me Think!
Thinking is difficult. Watching brainless television is not. The lack of intellectual stimulation present in many current television shows and computer games is below sixth grade. Combine that with the speed of the internet, the immediate gratification of posting on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Messenger, StumbleUpon, what have you, has created an innate inability to focus for longer durations of time, has led to low levels of concentration and lack of clarity in thinking.
Consider that all your sense of “reality” is determined every single second by what you choose to process out of that gigantic number of bits of information.
So Do I Mean That You Choose The 126 Bits?
Of course! You always have a choice on what bits you focus on.
And this is why your 126 bits of information are not the same as your mom’s, or your partner’s, or our spouse’, or your children’, etc. It could not possibly be the same. The personal filtering does not allow it to be the same.
But there is another essential piece to the puzzle. And that is HOW we chose the 126 bits of information that make our IRs.
It best to quote Csikszentmihalyi himself who in the book Flow on page 31 says:
“All these complex mental operations must be complete in a few seconds, sometimes in a fraction of a second. While forming such a judgment seems to be a lightning-fast reaction, it does take place in real time. And it does not happen automatically: there is a distinct process that makes such reactions possible, a process called attention. It is attention that selects the relevant bits of information from the potential millions of bits available. It takes attention to retrieve the appropriate references from memory, to evaluate the event, and then to choose the right thing to do.”
“Some people learn to use this priceless resource efficiently, while others waste it. The mark of a person who is in control of consciousness is the ability to focus attention at will, to be oblivious to distractions, to concentrate for as long as it takes to achieve a goal, and not longer.”
And in order to pay attention to certain things and refuse to pay attention to others, the key is to right intention.
Your intentions are what makes order out of the information entering your IR. Your intention attracts like a magnet the bits of information we prefer VS others.
So You Have a Choice.
You have a choice what to notice, what to see, hear, feel, etc. You’re not victimized by your surroundings.
Many people will be very unhappy reading this! Because in an instant, once you know the good news – that you have a choice – you have accepted also the bad news: that you have a responsibility to choose wisely. That you are in charge! That you cannot blame others for what is in your head. And that’s news that many people rather not hear! Most people would do anything to not take full responsibility for their lives.
As we have seen throughout these two articles, our internal representations are not some form of a weird disease, but they are a personal form of internal hallucinations, because not only can they not possibility represent reality as it is, but we create our own version of it – our personal hallucination.
In his book, in the Introduction on page 2, Csikszentmihalyi tells us exactly what to do and it is best to quote him extensively:
“A happy life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe”
“Happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command. It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.”
And another quotation this time mentioned on Wikipedia:
“Repression is not the way to virtue. When people restrain themselves out of fear, their lives are by necessity diminished. Only through freely chosen discipline can life be enjoyed and still kept within the bounds of reason.”
We couldn’t agree more!
Until next time, be well!