NLPCoaching.com Contest 2015 – Crystal Daigle

Her Hips Don’t Lie – Recovery Before & After Coaching

I do not recall my mother ever complaining about pain, rather I recall my mother being active, independent and determined, whether it be at work or play. She was always the strong one. She was the one who comforted me and easily kept a straight face when I was sad. She grew up as an only child in a very small town and at just 19 years of age she tragically and publicly lost her best friend, her father, in a plane crash. Chief of Police, Louis E. Daigle of Madawaska, ME.

In 2014, at barely 61 years of age her mobility deteriorated at an alarming rate. Osteoarthritis was her diagnosis and the waitlist for surgery was long. Every visit I made to my parents’, her mobility decreased.  She had to retire, stopped swimming, needed a cane and then a walker to get around. If you want to know where you can process your retirement benefits, go to socialsecurityretire.org to see the social security office list. Parts of their home were renovated and a ramp installed, even a new vehicle. By the end of that year, her pain was constant whether she was sitting, standing or lying down. The only place where she could sleep was in a recliner in their living room, which she used as a bed for 6 months! I saw and heard her cry more during those few visits then I had ever seen in the previous 30 years of my life.

December 26, 2014, she organized a surprise engagement party for my fiancé and I; the event was beautiful and I was very grateful, as I knew she wasn’t feeling her best. That same evening, close family friends invited us for Christmas dinner. As the evening came to a close, Mom got up to go to the restroom and a couple of minutes later she yelled for my father, she couldn’t get up. She was crying, sniffling and clearly in pain. My sister and I looked at each other in disbelief and understood the gravity of her condition. We were astounded by the patience and dedication our parents had shown each other. It was time to go home and get in the car. Mom tried repeatedly, with all her might, to swing her leg back and forth and pull herself into the vehicle. Seven of us, all adults, stood around helpless, watching and listening to her sob loudly in desperation and pain. Dad already knew we couldn’t help as it caused her more pain and that meant this happened often. My heart broke for my Mom and my family, our once lively family dynamics disappeared so suddenly.

Mom’s condition worsened in 2015 and as a result she was unable to leave the house until her surgery came round at the end of March. Coincidently I was completing my Practitioner Level certifications here in Fredericton. Within one day, she had her first hip replacement and I graduated with Practitioner Level Certifications in NLP, Time Line Therapy®, Hypnosis and Coaching. I did the anxiety model with her and I knew I wasn’t the best coach for her, even though I wanted to be so much. During Practitioner, I became friends with a fellow graduate, Amanda Gilks. We both signed up and were looking forward to attending Master Practitioner in Las Vegas in July 2015!

My mother’s recovery was really rough. I spoke to her on the phone three days after her surgery and she was still heavily sedated. Considering her terrible fear of doctors, I was still quite proud of her! She needed blood transfusions and stayed in the hospital for 15 days. I went home to help for one week, it was one of the most demanding weeks of my life, emotionally, physically and mentally.

During Master Practitioner, it was clear to me that these amazing techniques could benefit my Mom. I took notes and messaged her to give her some awareness of what I was learning; knowing she wasn’t too sure what all this coaching stuff was about. Amanda and I were super excited to support those we loved the most, so we agreed to do an exchange of service. I had faith in the process, and I knew that although my mother was hesitant she’d open up to and love Amanda.

Amanda was absolutely incredible coaching Mom. Mom’s pain was at a 6-7 level while on prescribed pain meds, codeine and acetaminophen. Following only the pain paradigm, she was managing her pain, on her own, at a 0-1-2 level with acetaminophen only. I noticed her vocabulary changing to more empowering words, her first hip healed really well and even surprised the doctor, her mood was uplifted, she appeared lighter and her eyes brighter. She was ready for the next surgery.

The second surgery was scheduled right around our wedding date. I had already discussed it with my fiancé and my mother ahead of time, and we all agreed that her surgery came first and we would just delay the ceremony if need be.

The night before her second surgery, Mom was nervous but focused on the pool time she would get after her recovery. This was a true sign of progress to me since previously, she had worried about dying and hurting the nurses’ backs. I text my father early of the morning of the surgery to send my love and wish them both well. A few hours later my father replies: “Mom is out of surgery and looking good. All smiles.” We video-chatted for 1.5 hours after she woke up from surgery and I could not believe it, she literally was all smiles and looking fantastic. I was ecstatic and I let Amanda know right away!

I could not believe this was the same woman! The best surprise came when on day four she was released from the hospital and allowed to go home. Month’s prior it took her 15 days to get out of the hospital and long, harsh weeks of recovery. After Master Practitioner Level coaching, she was going home in only 4 days! It was totally unexpected so none of us were even home to assist her! She recovered at home, by herself, with the occasional visit from friends, family, nurses and physiotherapist, and of course my amazing father.

Within a week from surgery, she was back to cooking, doing dishes and laundry. She’s been going to the grocery store with my father and out visiting people regularly. A bigger surprise came when I received this message her second day home. “God has been tugging at my heart, here goes: I would like for you and Denis to plan where you want to get married and I will be there even if I have to fly. Love you and I do not want fear to stop me.”

The topic of flying was avoided in our household. Here we are in 2015, two hip replacement surgeries later and some effective and impactful coaching and voilà, a miracle of sorts. I knew it was possible, however, for her to acknowledge it and say it – that is absolutely remarkable!

It’s that simple, you take a step forward to better yourself and watch the impact unfold around you. The ripple effects are beautiful to watch; it is impossible to know the level of support, comfort, and love you’ll be bringing to people around you until you take the step for yourself. My knowledge and skills grew, my health improved and my burnout vanished. More importantly, my family has a life that’s renewed, enriched and empowered AND we need to plan a destination wedding!

Thank you Janelle Fraser, www.NLPCoaching.com, Amanda Gilks, Mom, Dad, Grandpa… and Me. 🙂