This article is a continuation of Part 1 and Part 2
NLP People – Do You Spot The Difference?
Goals VS Outcomes. Basic NLP Practitioner material.
The net result is in different performance levels: when learning something new and hard, girls take it as sign that they aren’t “good” and “smart” as boys, and boys take it as a sign to pay attention and try harder so they’ll be better. NLP Values Levels anybody? Obviously VL 2-4 VS 3-5… But let’s stay focused on beliefs only for rest of this article.
Funny how we carry the beliefs we unconsciously and unquestioningly “absorb” from our family with us throughout our lives. We make them into our “rules” and into absolute truth, when they are just… a set of beliefs.
Once bright girls are praised, it seems that they begin to fear that their abilities are fixed in time and inflexible regarding new tasks – what would happen if they cannot push further? It seems that they begin to be afraid to rock the boat – almost like they are afraid of losing their praise and self-esteem if they happen to fail. And so, on one hand they could eventually grow up to become women who are extremely hard on themselves–women who will prematurely conclude that because they’re women, they don’t have what it takes to succeed in a particular arena, and give up way too soon. On the other hand they could give up and settle for far less compared to what they could achieve in life based on their abilities.
Of course I am generalizing here and you may not be at all one of these women. In which case just acknowledge that there are other women in the world who go through this pattern day by day.
These Limiting Beliefs about self are – more often than not – unconscious. We worked many times with women appearing enormously self-confident but who, at a closer look, deep down were tremendously insecure mostly due to different fears. Fear of failure ranked high up on the fears meter together with fear of ridicule from peers, family and even society. “What would people think if I try? They’ll say “who do you think you are to even dare”? What if I try and fail? Then I will have to face embarrassment and shame from everybody I know. What will my family say if I pursue X? Will they feel I am deserting them for my selfish needs? And if I fail, they’ll laugh at me all the way to Sunday! Can’t do that!”
Now, even if by the laws we enact against discrimination, we artificially remove any disadvantage to a woman’s rising to the top of an organization, even if every inequality of opportunity, every chauvinistic stereotype and all the challenges women face balancing work and family are taken out, women would still have to deal with the set of unconscious values and beliefs which we may be their own worst enemy.
- How often have you found yourself avoiding challenges and playing it safe?
- How many times you wanted to strive for something really big but you chose to stick to “realistic” goals that were safe to reach?
- How many times you gave up on things you knew you can achieve?
- How many times you had bright ideas but caught in the daily routine “forgot” about them because you could not decide to proceed?
- How many things you decided long ago that you could never be good at?
- What about skills you believed you would never possess?
These are just a few questions that every woman should ask herself and if the list of answers is a long one, you were probably one of the smart girls who has accepted a lot of Limiting Beliefs and Limiting Decisions about yourself. You have learned to “play it safe”. You have felt the criticism (right or wrong) from your family or peers many times before and now you are afraid to even try. Or maybe you just made up these beliefs on your own – unconsciously of course but now you’re enacting them as if they were absolutely true.
The Good News Is That It Can All Go Away – Time Line Therapy® Can Help
The good news is that with Time Line Therapy® you can let all these go—I promise your life will become instantly much easier without all that garbage you carry in your Unconscious Mind now. These Limiting Beliefs have done more to determine the course of your life than you probably ever imagined.
No matter your talent and aptitude – whether it’s intelligence, science skills, creativity, IT, design, piloting, self-control in general, social skills, athletics, what have you, studies show that your skills are not cast in stone or fixed at a certain level. They are flexible enough to be used in any new endeavor, in any new challenge. When it comes to mastering any new skill – like NLP or Time Line Therapy® for example, your experience, effort and insistence matter a lot. We see this every year in our graduates.
So it is time to let go of all your old mistaken belief about how you feel about yourself, and do Time Line Therapy® NOW to get rid of everything that prevents you to realize that you can always improve, and you can reclaim the confidence to tackle any challenge life presents you with.
If you have any questions for me, we can talk. Just leave me a reply below.
Alternatively you can ask me questions during the VidChat. The email for that is [email protected]. I will answer all your questions anonymously during the live VidChat.
Having gone through a similar experience in life, and having overcome it long time ago, I am here to help you with my best advice.
Until next time, be well.