Most people deal with it. “I am not good enough”. It comes in fast and in an deceptive way even for the most self-confident person on earth. Something happens. It takes you by surprise. You make a mistake or don’t react as you think you should have. You were stunned. You had no strategies to deal with the situation in the moment. You did not know how to react. As a result you don’t feel good enough. Strong enough. Worthy enough.
This “I am not good enough” issue can take many different forms of expression. Many different labels (people call it differently) but fundamentally the feeling is the same.
Some people take it so much to heart that from that day on they begin to meticulously look for evidence that proves to them how they’re insignificant, unlovable, not intelligent, not capable or simply “not enough”. They may even look for reasons why they don’t deserve to be appreciated, loved or why they are failures. And when they find more and more reasons to convince themselves, then they say “See I was right!”.
It is amazing to notice the spiraling down for these people. From the moment that “something” happens, they begin to reason how something is wrong with them almost unconsciously looking to find more and more examples that amplify this feeling.
They get stuck in this everlasting down spiraling of feeling more and more miserable about themselves, and many times they end up punishing themselves by permanently criticizing and blaming everything they do or say or are, to the point of which there is almost a pleasure in showing everybody how much they suffer.
Of course most of these people don’t do this consciously. They may not even be aware they produce this kind of behavior and inside they really experience a cauldron of Negative Emotions. It is a sad state of affairs. If they only knew there is something they can do – it’s called Time Line Therapy®.
So here are some pieces of advice for what you can do if you’re one of these people and if you don’t know Time Line Therapy® (which would be the one good way to let go of all these feelings completely):
1. The People You Compare Yourself To Are Not Free Of Problems
When you compare yourself to other people (and come up short of course) remember that the people who seem to have it all do not. They have the same type of problems you do – yes, incredibly isn’t it? The most beautiful model is usually extremely unhappy with her body. The most brilliant savant may think at times he’s simply not smart enough. People with prosperous business will “hit the wall” many times and end up with sickness and disease.
Life is not perfect for anyone regardless of how it appears to look from the outside.
- Not All Your Bad Thoughts Are Yours
Remember that some of your thoughts may not be yours. Somebody told you that you’re not good enough and you accepted it as fact. You saw on television a report about somebody and you compared yourself to them. You watched a reality show (which is as fake as a 7 dollar bill) and you heard a statement saying “Women who are not ______ are ugly”. Is this your belief then? No, you accepted it from a TV reality show.
This is just a quick example to demonstrate how easy it is to accept beliefs that make you not feel good enough from a TV fake program. In fact you took a decision (consciously or most likely unconsciously) to accept that you’re not good enough and now that decision has become fact for your life.
If you took a decision in that unfortunate direction remember that anytime you can take a new decision in a new and more positive direction.
- Focus On What’s Good And Positive About You
Aren’t good parts about you? What are these? You could not be a complete bum. Nobody is! What is positive about you? What are the qualities that you (and others) really like about you? Focus on these for 10 minutes and you will feel differently. That change in focus can make the difference between you having a bad or a really good day.
There are more things you can do immediately to feel better about yourself but they will have to wait until next time.
Be well