5 Emotions That Don't Serve You and What to Do about Them Part 2

In part one of this article we made a statement which could act as a surprise for many people. Negative emotions are good in the moment. Yes they serve a purpose but only in the moment. They show you when something is wrong. They tell you – Pay attention! Something is threatening you, something is inappropriate or clearly “not right”.

We showed the effects of anger and related emotions like fury, rage, resentment, and wrath. We saw how sadness and related emotions like depression, regret, sorrow, as well as fear and it’s “cousins” like terror, anxiety, fright, panic do to you. Here we will explore the next two detrimental emotions most people experience and we will offer some solutions everybody can apply to increase their well-being and progress in life.

4. Guilt (Include here Blame – Of Self and Others – Shame, Remorse, etc.)

Guilt is the prison guard that keeps us locked in a personal hell, suffering at the mercy of all our other negative emotions. Guilt is the emotion that connects us forever with some mistake we have made. Paradoxically guilt has never kept anybody from repeating old mistakes. However, it has a major role – it is a great emotion used for the purpose of controlling us (like fear although in a different way). Guilt and the above mentioned related negative emotions (which should be dealt with separately) is used to tell us that our past mistakes are now going to permanently mark us forever. The (non)logical conclusion is that we become instantly inferior, less that, not good enough, not worthy of the same love, acceptance, and compassion that others deserve.

Oh, don’t get confused. I am not advocating the lack of guilt. That’s the easiest way to make someone into an unfeeling sociopath capable of horrendous deeds. What I am advocating is the idea that there is no need to keep an old guilt that stays with you maybe since childhood. The point is to learn from what you did wrong, to recognize your mistake and preserve the learnings so you will never repeat that old behavior. But most people keep the guilt, and repeat the same behaviors. That’s as useful as a 3 dollar bill.

We feel guilty when we feel responsible for a wrong action. There could be instances where feeling guilty makes total sense – you did something wrong. But there are just as many (if not more instances) when you’re made to feel guilty about situations or events for which you could not have been responsible. This I call a deceitful use of guilt for the purpose of controlling you. You did nothing wrong but you were told you did. According to whom? Hmm, that differs from trend to trend. I can think of a series of things we’re made to feel guilty about right now including the fact that we’re alive. It is a useful tool if employed correctly – it acts as a perfect control mechanism. This deceitful guilt can be equally destructive, if not more so. Feeling guilty for a situation which was out of your control and in which you had no input is often unproductive and detrimental.

5. Hurt (Or Similar Emotions Like Wounded, Harmed Emotionally, Heart Broken, etc.)

Everyone has been hurt in life. The degree of hurt may vary, but the result was the same. We feel hurt. It can happen early in life, in childhood and more often than not during adolescence. It can happen in adulthood. It can happen to anyone

Here is the problem with hurt. We experience it. It is normal. We all experience it when we’re being subjected to behaviors that we don’t deserve. It can take us by surprise and it can hit us like a ton of bricks. But, if not released and “stuffed down” into the unconscious mind and carried along for the remainder of our lives it can send us into complete powerlessness. For the rest of our lives! Not good! In fact the effects could be pretty crippling!

And then, feeling powerless to do anything about it, we stay stuck in suffering and we can even become “professional victims” showing the world day-in and day-out how much we suffer. So how do we get back to the other side? Some people apply the forgiveness process, forgiving the offender. Some people do it differently – they realize that the offender will never understand or “repent” for their past actions because they don’t get that what they have done was wrong. They did not get it in the past and they don’t get it now. Moreover they will never get it so suffering is a personal choice.

Once you let go of hurt, you will feel again the good old personal inner power – not “power-over-others”, but an inner power doubled up with the self-belief and trust in oneself. Then comes also the learning that as long as we allow others to have power over us by holding onto years-long hurt, we are remaining their victims. A victim’s life remains just that – a victim’s life. Unfulfilled, unhappy, pretty miserable and unsatisfactory.

We were not born to suffer. The people who are the most happy in life are not the people who suffered no hurt. In fact they may have suffered a lot of hurt, far above the average person. But these people have had it with feeling miserable in their hurt. One day they have said “Enough of this, I won’t have it anymore!”

So, in order to start somewhere, you need to say to yourself or even out loud “I have been hurt! Badly! I feel this way. And it is OK.” “Now it’s time to move on!”

Yes, I know that many times there is a lot of pressure coming from our environment to deny our true feelings, to mistrust what we really feel and certainly not to express our emotions. If you’re not perpetually “happy” something must be wrong with you.

Oh yeah, something is wrong but not necessarily with you!

Maybe someone or some “thing” in your environment is really violating your personal values on a continuous basis. And this is wrong. This does not mean it is something wrong with you for not liking or not putting up happily with that situation or that person.

Here we are at the conclusion of this rather long article: we said that negative emotions are good in the moment only – they show us when something is wrong! But holding onto the negative emotions can be a destructive game, which stops your mental and emotional freedom, and blocks your personal development, as well as your ability to achieve your true potential. The presence of unresolved negative emotions could make the difference between a happy and fulfilled life and a miserable life. Holding these negative emotions bottled up into the unconscious mind could also be outright dangerous health-wise; they can lead you down the road to chronic health problems and may even trim years off your life.

So then what to do? The first question is for you to answer for yourself: do you want to feel better? Do you want to be happy? If the answer is yes, then the next question is: Do you want to do something about it or do you just want to complain?

If you want to do something about it here are some simple things anybody can do.

The most important thing is to learn to let go of all old negative emotions you carry with you unconsciously. Learn Time Line Therapy® techniques. They’re easy to learn and they are sure tools for maintaining a balanced, under control and happy emotional state. Time Line Therapy® consists of a set of techniques that allows you to easily let go and eliminate negative emotions like anger, sadness, fear hurt and guilt in as much as ten minutes per emotion, limiting decisions like “I am not good enough” and also give you a process through which you can create goals in your future so you can literally make it the way you want.
Get out from under eating unhealthy foods even if you think they are “comfort” foods. You’re wrong. They are not. They damage you. They damage your brain, mind and emotions. Apply the Gi-Go process: you put garbage in your body you get garbage in your mind and in your emotions. Many times sadness and depressive emotions are linked to afternoon low blood sugar. Avoid sodas, processed foods, eat organic and drink fluoride free water.
Exercise regularly. It is a well-known fact that exercise boosts your hormones in a positive way. According to webmd.com

“Many studies show that people who exercise regularly benefit with a positive boost in mood and lower rates of depression. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain.”

Furthermore the same website maintains that:

“Regular exercise and supplementation with neural-calming extracts such as Mitragyna Speciosa has been proven to: